Read a motivation quote. Like. Screen shot maybe.
Like that girl’s photo you haven’t spoken to in two years.
Drool over the insta-famous fashion blogger’s cute dress, bag, and angle shot that you can never seem to replicate.
Scroll some more.
Like every single pomeranian photo, because you follow all the popular pom accounts, and obsess over the day you can buy yours.
See the guy you like but never talk to.
See the guy you liked but stopped talking to you.
I can’t stop scrollinnnn’… I hate it…would rather just read a book and be nerdyyyy. Just wanna be nerdy, just wanna be nerdy, just wanna be nerdy…
OK Kelly STOP.
Hah. Instagram can be a hellava ride. Of course, not everybody that has instagram uses it all day everyday, or even once a day at all.
But after giving up the ol’ IG app (not deleting my account, let’s not go crazy) but it was giving it up that I realized how much I actually used it.
Which was a lot.
Rolling up to a red light while taking a drive, scrolling mindlessly while using the bathroom at work, yes work, and even opening up the app mid-conversation, only half listening to what your friend or colleague is saying to you. These behaviours are so habitual that I didn’t know what to do with myself nearly 5 minutes after deleting these apps. I walked out of Moksha yoga feeling fresh and spiritually awakened, ready to conquer a week of massive productivity, knowing my little fingers wouldn’t be dancing all over my phone, watching insta stories of people I’ll never meet, fueling my procrastination.
I hopped in my girlfriends vehicle, grabbed my phone, and swiped, familiar with the Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook icons but unfamiliar with them being gone. I kind of felt lost (this is sad really, it’s an iPhone app), but the last few years, and more so the last few months I think Instagram has become sort of an identity. You look at it when you wake up, countless (literally, try counting) times throughout the day, and of course before bed. You follow your favourite accounts, and feel like you know them cause you watch their Insta-stories everyday. PS Jillian Harris’ baby boy Leo is actually the cutest thing. Oh and then there’s all the motivational and boss babe pages I follow cause there’s nothing more motivating that reading inspirational quotes.
But what are these people and pages teaching me? What good are reading motivational quotes like “follow your dreams or you’ll find yourself working for someone who did” if you don’t have any skills or an action plan to go out and actually do what you want to be doing?
Hm. Doesn’t sound very good to me. I’m still sitting in the same old sot, dreaming the same old dreams, feeling the same old feelings. I’m not any closer to my goals then I was like, three weeks or a year ago. Speaking of quotes, (hypocritical Kells at it again), one of my favourites when you’re seeking growth and change is “you won’t get the life you want without giving up the one you have“-no idea who said it.
But it’s true, Einstein also said it best “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Basically, you aren’t going to see the results you desire until you make a change. Whether that be career, spending habits, exercise regime, eating habits, relationships, or the amount of time you spend snuggling Marlow, you really won’t get any closer to your goals. Okay the Marlow thing was just for me.
K this blog is definitely going on a tangent but I have a point. Since deleting my apps, I’ve been more productive in 3 days than I have in months! Well, that’s emphasizing a bit but just trying to drive the message home. I packed three full bags of clothes I’m going to be donating, I’ve sorted and filed all my paperwork I’ve been dreading, I’ve been consistent with sleep, meditation, workouts, and nutrition, and I’m completely caught up on the Bachelorette, which yes, is an accomplishment in my life at this point.
I downloaded a bunch of new (and old music) such as The Used, a band I used to listen to when social media barely existed. When I would listen to punk rock in my room, waiting patiently to go on MSN messenger for a few minutes to talk to my grade 6 crush… or sit and sort through my disposable camera photos that would ultimately be uploaded to my Nexopia profile.
I’ve also finally started my training for my new program I’ll be promoting “Breaking Free,” working with emotional and problematic eaters using a cognitive behaviour therapy approach, something I’ve been really passionate about since completing my Holistic Nutrition diploma and wanting to gain insight into the world of eating disorders. There’s wasn’t much training in psychiatric nursing coming from this approach, so I’m excited to gain the knowledge and training to help the many women (and men) that struggle with disordered eating.
So why did it take deleting a few apps to get this all done? You tell me.
Oh right, I’m the one writing this. Once the temptation of something that “triggers” you is gone, you deal with your shit. Emotions, feelings, behaviours. Just like removing junk food from your house, when you remove the stimulus (trigger) you are likely not to act out the behaviours. I mean it pretty much sounds like I’m addicted to instagram or something and need to go to insta-rehab but I think you guys get the point.
Am I gonna get instagram back? Well of course, it’s my virtual photo album and sometimes I love just scrolling on my own feed and remembering certain moments and celebratory events. Oh and baby Marlow. I’m also going golfing this weekend with my brother (who also happens to dislike wine-we surely can’t be related-and offered to chauffeur me and his wife around Naramata), so I’m sure you will get a glimpse of me driving a golf cart and sippin’ Chard like it’s my job.
But my little experiment definitely shed some light on my habits and behaviours. And it taught me what I am actually capable of when I’m not procrastinating all day, every day. It created an awareness I never had before. It showed me that maybe by scrolling aimlessly I’m actually self-sabotaging so I don’t have to deal with the future or failure? Alright that was deep.
I encourage you to delete the apps, even just for a day or two. I did 4 but it’s not a competition…